“Looking down at my father’s dead face, in which I saw no trace of my own, I wanted to grab him and shake him, force him to wake up and explain to me the version of the good old days. ‘He was a good man, a very good man,’ my father’s wife continued. ‘I know he would have wanted you to be part of his final rites.’ How could he have wanted me to be part of his final rites when he’s been absent from my first?” (page 16)

This quote made me feel really bad for the narrator as you can tell she is still upset at her father’s absence from her life despite his wishes and whether or not he was a “good man.” This almost makes me feel frustrated for her as her father could have been a good person, however, it is still not fair to Danticat as she was never able to receive that type of goodness from her father. It doesn’t really matter how much her father’s wife explains how good of a person he was because to Danticat, she was never able to experience that herself. In this moment, she has to bring herself to forgive everyone despite what she truly deserved as now that her father is dead, there is no way of her being able to be upset or mad at him but would rather have to come to terms with it. You can truly feel her frustration because while she does not see any trace of herself in his face, she still wants that father figure she longed for and talk about “the good old days,” showing how she only wanted something so simple that is now out of her reach.

“In any case, this woman and her friends at the Mill Reef Club wanted to restore the old library, but she said she didn’t know if they would be able to do so, because that part of St. John’s was going to be developed, turned into little shops-boutiques-so that when tourists turned up they could buy all those awful things that tourists always buy, all those awful things they then take home, put in their attics, and their children have to throw out when the tourists, finally, die” (page 48).

This quote really stood out to me because it showcases where Kincaid gets her frustration from the tourists. After reading about how much Kincaid loves the library but was now ruined and in such poor condition due to the impacts of colonialism, and then realizing that people are more invested in “little shops-boutiques” for simply showing off and advertising to tourists, it really creates a sense of anger and frustration which I was able to relate to. Kincaid is frustrated due to the lack of hope of being able to help Antigua return to its originality and now is catered towards things that are not important. When we are young, almost everything in life seems like a fantasy or even exciting. Kincaid even describes her passion for reading at the library so much so that the librarian was suspicious of her hiding more books than she was allowed to take. However, now this same library has become “malnourished” in a sense and the same passion and spark her childhood self had is now hurt due to the lack of care and effort put in. I truly do feel bad for Kincaid and the situation of Antigua and her anger towards tourists makes a lot more sense to me compared to before when I first read this.

“These things happen, it was only a matter of time, count your blessings, and , yes it could have been worse- and such bile rose into my throat at these thoughts” (195).

This quote was shortly after Julius had gotten robbed from those young boys. The beginning of this chapter had me so upset for Julius as it truly showed how naive he can be at times. When those boys had first approached him, he did not even think anything of it even though they were very rude towards him. Instead he brushed it off and even felt some sort of empathy for them as I believe he referred their connection as “brothers” and understanding what they have been through due to their shared race. However, Julius quickly realized that these boys came to steal from him and it made me even more upset at how they even laughed at him as well. One thing I noticed was that Julius still explains everything as it happens rather than explaining his emotions. This line stood out to me because it showed a glimpse into how he truly felt after. I also resonated with this line as it is really true- sometimes life can be very unpredictable and therefore it is important to be thankful for the things we do have.

I really enjoyed reading this as it was a very calm and interesting narrative so far. At first, I was confused due to the lack of plot and almost aimless wanderings but the simplicity in his writing truly paints a picture of how even despite being in one of the busiest cities in the world, it can still be so serene. The first person narrative in this writing also reminded me of the same feelings and thoughts I have while walking in the city and going home from a long day. Literally just looking at every little detail of what you pass by and allowing your mind to wander and retrieve old memories and form ideas with such fluidity and without disturbance.

This writing also reminded me very much of my father as he came to this country also while he was pursuing his residency in psychiatry and the stories he told me of him walking in Brooklyn at night and missing his home greatly reminded me of Julius in a way when it comes to this rift between culture back home and coming to this lively and different city. I admire how in some ways, we can all relate to this as going anywhere far from our home, or comfort zone, or familiarities can cause us to feel homesick by just wandering and observing new things in our trails. It is almost ironic that to be in a place full of new things, such as subways, city lights, cars, can remind us of the opposite and think of serenity at home.

“As if the woman would. As if she, Grace, would fall for the fake talk. She can tell from those sweet smelling bottles and silver jars that these fancy women are addicted to their expensive potions…why did the woman ask? And why did she give into the woman’s nosiness and talk about such foolish things?” (page 25)

Grace says this after revealing her hair secret to Fiona and Fiona saying that she would try it out. I found Grace’s reaction to this very interesting as she calls Fiona’s conversation start-up as “fake talk.” I believe that this reaction reveals layers to Grace’s personality and it could be due to the results of the apartheid. Fiona comes from a place of privilege compared to Grace and therefore talks about “foolish things” such as hair care tips, whereas Grace has other important things to worry about such as taking care of the kids and house. This power dynamic can show Grace’s deeply rooted frustration towards white privilege as she has always had to work for everything in her life. I truly feel for Grace as she has to get used to someone who does not want to acknowledge their privilege as Fiona denies not being English but rather “Scottish”, even though they come with similar privilege which could be annoying to work with.

Woman: I’m warning you, Kerry! I don’t care if you’re black and South African and have been oppressed for as long as anyone can remember. This is not South Africa. Here you’re just another psychiatrist, a professional man, like anybody else. No favors. You’re supposed to perform your duties like anyone else without fear or favor.

This was a really interesting read for me as the interaction between Kerry and Mrs. Gresham as there was a reference to the deeply rooted white supremacy. This quote really bothered me as so many others in today’s world also speak in this manner (sometimes even worse unfortunately) and it is so disheartening. While I was still trying to figure out the relationship between both of them, I was upset by the mention of Kerry’s background as she used it in such a belittling and degrading manner and tone. She even threatens him later on to call the police as she said the police would take him instead of her due to her white supremacy. This part honestly disturbed me as well as Kerry was being very patient with her and did not have any bad intention towards her.

I really liked how the author wrote this as a poem as each line ending with a period adding a deeper meaning to the passage. It made me slow down the reading in my head and it truly helped me take in each and every line piece by piece, which I believe was the effect that the author may have wanted to go for, especially since a spell consists of carefully making an intense effect with each line spoken. The line that stood out the most to me was, “Is inherited trauma like the water passed from one generation to another, placed in the hands of each person in turn?” (page 3). I really appreciated this line as it sums up this entire poem about the author revealing the trauma that her mother went through during the partition and how deeply it impacted her, thus explaining how generational trauma works. I also like how she uses the concept of mysticism as her form of escape (“this is a spell to stop the loop, to regain one’s wholeness- pg 2), as it helps for her to believe that she can find peace through this “spell” to undo the trauma. My interpretation is that the author realizes that those of us that have had this similar experience can come to accept that this generational trauma may have made us stronger, but we can also stop the trauma from being passed on by finding closure and acceptance within ourselves (which is seen through this theme of mysticism).

This story was a very sad read as it truly showcased the violent and horrific state that the people were in during the aftermath of the partition of India and Pakistan. I believe that the use of English in this passage was because it was introduced as a language in India during the British Raj. During “The Return,” I noticed that Sirajuddin was desperately trying to look for his daughter. I can tell that he truly cares for his daughter as he even picked up her dupatta when it had slipped to the ground despite being in the midst of chaos. Although at the end he finally finds her daughter, it took me several reads to realize that his daughter had been raped by her rescuers. This is foreshadowed when the rescuers tell Sirajuddin that they will find his daughter even though they had already found her previously. In the scene with the doctor, he tells Sirajuddin to “open the windows,” to which his daughter responds by spreading her legs open. After studying the text in Urdu, this line was written as, “Khol Do,” which simply means “to open.” His daughter’s response to the command, as well as the serious condition of her body shows that she had to have gone through some sort of trauma from being raped by the rescuers. I was shocked when I realized what the ending meant, and it was also very bittersweet as Sirajuddin was so happy to have finally found his daughter, however, they were betrayed by their own rescuers and his daughter was left in serious condition. While the reading is very raw, it did a very good job in showcasing the true conditions these people were in.